Not having a laugh at our bear puns is im-paw-sible! They’re high koala-ty and will soon have you bearing for more.
Beary Bearable Bear Puns
- What did the bear teach his students in science class? That bearium is a chemical element.
- What did the bear at the auto-workshop tell his apprentice? This axle desperately needs new bearings.
- Why did the bear not feel panicked about having to appear before a judge in court? Because he’d hired an excellent bearister.
- Why did the policeman arrest a group of young bears partying it up in the street? Their behavior was barbearic.
- Why did the bear get sentenced for being in contempt of court? He told a bearfaced lie.
- Why did the bear not get the job he had applied for? Because his industry of choice has a high bearier-to-entry.
- Why did the judge decide to let a man go free? Because he has the right to bear arms.
- What do you call a cemetery designed for bears? Special bearial grounds.
- Why didn’t the teddy bear feel like having lunch? Because he was already stuffed.
- What kind of sports cars do bears drive? Fur-raris.
- What do you get when you let a bear into your garden? Squash!
- What do you get when you cross a bear with a skunk? Winnie the PU!
- Why don’t bears enjoy fast food? It’s hard for them to catch.
- Which animal can hibernate while balancing on its head? Yoga Bear.
- Why did the bear want to see his therapist? Because he was bearly coping.
- What did the bears say to their children on Christmas morning? Beary Christmas!
- Why did the bear go to the barber for a shave? Because his face was way too beary.
- What did the bear get her brother for a housewarming gift? A happy new den greetings card.
The Cutest Punda Bear Puns
- Why did the panda storm away from her best friend? Because what was originally a small scrap ended in utter panda-monium.
- Why did the panda bear quit his job? He was beginning to feel ex-panda-ble.
- What did the panda bear get his girlfriend for her birthday? A beautiful pandant.
- What does a panda use to make pancakes? A pan… duh!
- A panda walks into a bar. He eats shoots and leaves.
- What did the scary panda say? Bam! Boo!
- What’s a panda bear’s favorite ice cream? Any bear-y flavor.
- What did the panda bear tell the police officer after had his life savings stolen? I was bamboozled!
- What do you call a panda bear who got hurt? A bamboolance!
- Today I saw two pandas roaming down the street. That bears repeating!
- Why do pandas love classic films? Because they’re black and white.
- When does the panda most enjoy playing her harmonica? On Bearrific Bluesday.
- What do pandas call their significant others? Their bam-boo.
- How do you spell “panda”? Very easily, because all you need are p and a.
- Why should you never pop a panda into a blender? Because you’ll end up with pandemix!
- What do you call a panda with no remaining teeth? A gummy bear.
- What do pandas enjoy drinking on a night out on the town? Bambooze.
- What kind of socks do panda bears wear? They don’t wear socks! They have bear feet.
- What do you call a bear that never lands? Peter Panda.
- Why did the panda quit her second job? She needed to spend koala-ty time with her cubs.
- Why was the baby bear so spoiled? His mom panda’d do his every whim.
In The Mood For Koala-ty?
- Why did the koala storm off in an angry huff? His teacher told him she doubted he had the necessary koala-fication to classify as a real bear.
- Why did the koala get fired from her job? Because she only ever did the bear minimum.
- What is a koala’s favorite activity at the gym? Bearobics.
- What’s the best way to apologize to a koala? By bearing your heart and soul.
- What did the bear do to earn a medal in the Olympic Games? He made it through the koalafying rounds.
- Why did the bear get stripped of his Olympic medal? He got diskoalafied for cheating.
- What did the koala say to his wife after a tiring shopping trip? Just give me a minute to get my bearings.
- Why did the koala not want to move to the forest next door? Because generations of his forebears had lived in his forest.
- What did the koala construction worker say to his foreman? A wheelbearow would have come in handy.
- Why did the koala dump his girlfriend? Because she bear-trayed him.
- What’s a koala bear’s favorite drink? Coca-Koala.
- What did the koala dad want most for his family? Peas on earth.
Polarizing Bear Puns
- Why are polar bears so great at finding a romantic partner? They’re great ice breakers!
- What do polar bears have for lunch? Ice burgers.
- Why did the bear dissolve when dunked in water? It was polar.
- Why is it real cheap to have a polar bear as a bet? Because it lives on ice.
- What do you call two bears telling each other off? Bipolar.
- What do you call a huge white bear with a hole in his middle? A polo bear!
- How did the panda escape a lashing from his mom? Only bear-ly!
- Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snowbank.
- What’s the difference between a panda and a polar bear? Roughly 3,000 miles.
- What’s another name for a polar bear from Florida? A solar bear.
- Who is a polar bear’s favorite singer? Seal.
- How did the polar bear stop the movie? He hit “paws”.
- Why did the bears break up at the North Pole? They were polar opposites.
- Why do polar bears never look unhappy? They just grin and bear it.
- What do you call a polar bear who practices dentistry? A molar bear.
- What’s a polar bear’s favorite snack? Brrrrittos.
- What’s a vegan polar bear’s favorite food? Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
- What’s a polar bear’s favorite cereal? Ice Crispies.
- What is white, furry, and as wheels? A roll-ar bear.
- Why did the bear leave his wife? Her opinions were polarizing.
These Bear Puns Are Grizzly!
- What do you get when you cross a panda and a grizzly bear? Eaten. You get eaten.
- What cheese is effective for luring a grizzly out the forest? Camembear!
- What is a grizzly bear’s favorite food? Campers.
- Where do young grizzly bears enjoy hanging out? At the maul.
- Did you hear about the grizzly that killed a camper? He used his bear hands!
- A grizzly bit a guy in an elevator. I left because I really could bear to see it go down.
- The bear at the local zoo was losing his eyesight, so the zookeeper got him some prescription glasses. It’s quite a grizzly spectacle!
- Oh, don’t get all grizzly with me!
- Things are about to get grizzly.
- What did the grizzly say to his girlfriend? I’ll be out soon – I’m bearly dressed!
These Bear Puns Aren’t At All Stuffy
- Why do teddy bears never visit the gym? They don’t want to get ripped.
- What do teddy bears enjoy eating at Thanksgiving? The stuffing.
- What does the turkey and the teddy bear have in common? They’re both full of stuffing.
- Why did the teddy bear stay in hospital? He was better but not yet completely out of the woods.
- I told my teddy bear how cute it looked and it plushed.
- Why did the teddy bear refuse to dump her boyfriend? She was too soft and couldn’t do it.
- How can you tell the teddy bear is moving away? He’s got a fur-sale sign up in the yard.
- What do you call a teddy bear who got stuck in the rain? A drizzly bear.
- What is the teddy bear’s pet name for his girlfriend? Hunny.
- What do you do with a green teddy bear? Wait until he’s ripe.
- What do you call a teddy bear who’s lost all his fur? Fred-bear.
- What did the teddy bear do when he got torn? He ran and ran until he got a stitch.
- Why do purple teddies eat less than brown teddies? Because there are fewer of them.
- How do teddy bears go on vacation? By bear-o-plane.
- How do you wish a teddy bear on their birthday? Happy bearthday!
- How can you tell when a teddy bear is excited? He can bearly contain himself.
- What’s the best part about summer shirts? The bear arms.
- Why was the speeding teddy bear given an award? He broke the soundbearier.
- What did one teddy bear say to the next? I just hate to be the bearer of bad news.
- What’s a teddy bear’s favorite drink? Root bear.
We went bear-zerk with these puns! We’ve certainly earned our koalafication… and you have too!