We don’t believe in doing anything half baked – yeast of all puns about bread. We’ve got you covered with everything from sourdough jokes to hot-cross-puns.
Keep reading… our bread puns will bring out the weirdough in you.
Bready or not, here they crumb!
Freshly Baked Bread Puns
- Before I completely break down and rye, let me say how much I loaf you!
- I’m a successful wrapper and I get a lot of dough.
- Don’t push me away – you knead me in your life.
- Scone to be a whole lot of fun. Wheat love it if you could join us.
- You focaccia bag at the restaurant, best you crumb back and fetch it.
- Crust me, I’m on a roll right now!
- You’re toast! Baguette ready to lose.
- Whole-y grain! It’s almost as if you bread my mind.
- Ciabatta stay away from me. I don’t want naan of that trouble in my life.
- I loaf you, and so biscuit’s really the yeast I could do for you.
Thorough-Bread Puns
- My dog is a special kind of pure-bread.
- He has such perfect table manners. He must be well bread.
- Have you seen Bread Pitt’s latest film?
- My granddad used to say that bread always falls butter side down.
- Half a loaf is better than no bread at all.
- She makes a living from running a bread and breakfast.
- Once you’ve made your bread, it’s time to lie in it.
- I’m always the breadsmaid, but never the bread.
- I made a mess. My papercut bread all over the place.
- He was blushing bright bread when he saw her!
Against The Grain Bread Puns
- Don’t grain on my parade – let me enjoy the moment!
- That’s a real grain teaser.
- He can’t find a girlfriend because he’s all brawn and no grains.
- I aced my test after I had a sudden grain wave.
- The students enjoyed a great grain-storming session.
- He’s got baking on the grain.
- Solving that puzzle was a real no-grainer.
- Working hard means keeping your nose to the grain-stone.
- The best advice you’ll ever get is “nothing ventured, nothing grained”.
- The garage sale was no more than a fool’s bar-grain.
Un-Baguette-Able Bread Puns
- He finished the race last but not yeast.
- I’m heading yeast for the holidays.
- Buy one, baguette one free.
- I honestly think I can baguette away with it.
- Will you please baguette out of my hair?
- Baguette cracking or we’ll be late.
- We had better rye-it it down -lest we baguette.
- We’re going for a swim so best you not baguette your trunks and towel.
- I’m really trying to baguette into the habit of it.
- Ahh, baguette it – I knew you wouldn’t understand!
Bread Puns and Crumbs!
- Crumb to think of it…
- I really wish they would crumb to their senses.
- Crumb again? I didn’t hear you the first time.
- She’d make more friends if she would crumb out her shell.
- Crumb hell or high water, I’ll do it.
- Do you crumb here often?
- Oh, crumb on and hurry up!
- The time has crumb for him to rise to the focaccian.
- Don’t be sad, the best is yet to crumb.
- Crumb rain or shine, I’m going for a swim.
Let’s Toast To That
- They sent us the prettiest toastcard.
- Australia has a beautiful toastline.
- He’s only into toast-modern art.
- I think we’re going to have to toastpone our date.
- We saw a ghost and called Toastbusters.
Bread Puns That Are Slightly Crusty
- This is crust not my day.
- It’s crust a matter of time before the batter spills over.
- My victory is crust around the corner.
- It’s not strange behaviour – it’s their crustom!
- Crustice was served.
- You can crust me, I’m a physician!
- He’s a crustworthy friend.
- There’s no knead to cook – crust add water.
- His actions were a real breach of crust.
- I don’t crust him one bit.
These Bread Puns Aren’t Crumbly
- What did the loaf of bread say when he broke up with his girlfriend? You really deserve butter.
- How do you spot a radical baker? They’re forever going against the grain.
- Why was the loaf of bread so upset? His plans were always going a-rye.
- Why did the slice of bread dump her boyfriend? He was way too kneady for her.
- Why did the loaf of bread keep punching his doughy friend? He wanted to get a rise out of him.
- What made the bread actor so unhappy? She lost out on a juicy roll.
- What do bread children say when playing hide-and-seek? Bready or not, here I crumb!
- Why was the slice of bread not at all fond of hot weather? He preferred it less toasty.
- How do you get a promotion at the bakery? By buttering up your boss.
- When is a bread pun at its crumbiest? When it’s left to get stale.
Crumbs Of Advice
- Be careful when complimenting a chef’s hot buns. They might take it the wrong way.
- It’s always a good idea to serve sourdough bread with a cutting barb.
- Don’t be a loafer – you’ll only end up baking a fool of yourself.
- Before sowing your wild oats, batch them up in some cookie sew instead.
- It’s never a good idea to roll your pies at your mother.
Bread Puns That Will Never Get Stale
- Why was the baker in such a bad mood? He woke up on the wrong side of the bread.
- What did the loaf of bread say when she bumped into the slice of rye? Didn’t I see you here yeast-erday too?
- Why did the two bags of flour run away from the bakery? They wanted to grow mould together.
- Why is money sometimes called dough? Because we all knead it.
- What happens if a loaf of bread forgets her umbrella? She’ll get soaking wheat.
- What do elves use for making sandwiches? Shortbread.
- How do you greet German bread? Gluten tag!
- I wanted to tell you a story about some butter on a piece of bread – but I’m afraid you might spread it around.
- Why was the baker in a panic? Because he was in a loaf or death situation.
- What do you call a rabbit who fell asleep in the sun? A hot cross bun-ny.
- What did the baker ask the traffic officer when he got pulled over for speeding? Rye the serious face?
- What’s the best birthday present to give to a baker? Flours.
- What do you call a loaf of bread in a cage at the local zoo? Bread in captivity.
- Why is bread just like the sun? It rises in the yeast.
- What do you call a baker who brings back the dough each month? The breadwinner.
- What is a loaf of bread’s favourite time of the year? Yeaster.
- Why do bakers prefer to work all weekend? They probably knead the dough.
- What’s a baker’s preferred sort of shoe? His trusty pair of loafers.
- Why did the ageing slice of rye retire? He knew his career was toast.
- What’s a slice of bread’s favourite way to remember things? By making a Toast-It.
- What do you call the highest class of rye there is? Upper crust.
We weren’t loafing around. We hope you enjoyed our bread puns, and will join us in a toast to better days!