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Puns

101 Bread Puns That Rise to the Occasion

We don’t believe in doing anything half baked –  yeast of all puns about bread. We’ve got you covered with everything from sourdough jokes to hot-cross-puns.

Keep reading… our bread puns will bring out the weirdough in you. 

Bready or not, here they crumb!

Freshly Baked Bread Puns

  1. Before I completely break down and rye, let me say how much I loaf you!
  2. I’m a successful wrapper and I get a lot of dough.
  3. Don’t push me away – you knead me in your life.
  4. Scone to be a whole lot of fun. Wheat love it if you could join us. 
  5. You focaccia bag at the restaurant, best you crumb back and fetch it. 
  6. Crust me, I’m on a roll right now!
  7. You’re toast! Baguette ready to lose. 
  8. Whole-y grain! It’s almost as if you bread my mind. 
  9. Ciabatta stay away from me. I don’t want naan of that trouble in my life. 
  10. I loaf you, and so biscuit’s really the yeast I could do for you. 

Thorough-Bread Puns 

  1. My dog is a special kind of pure-bread.
  2. He has such perfect table manners. He must be well bread.
  3. Have you seen Bread Pitt’s latest film?
  4. My granddad used to say that bread always falls butter side down.
  5. Half a loaf is better than no bread at all.
  6. She makes a living from running a bread and breakfast.
  7. Once you’ve made your bread, it’s time to lie in it. 
  8. I’m always the breadsmaid, but never the bread. 
  9. I made a mess. My papercut bread all over the place.
  10. He was blushing bright bread when he saw her!

Against The Grain Bread Puns

  1. Don’t grain on my parade – let me enjoy the moment!
  2. That’s a real grain teaser.
  3. He can’t find a girlfriend because he’s all brawn and no grains.
  4. I aced my test after I had a sudden grain wave.
  5. The students enjoyed a great grain-storming session.
  6. He’s got baking on the grain.
  7. Solving that puzzle was a real no-grainer. 
  8. Working hard means keeping your nose to the grain-stone. 
  9. The best advice you’ll ever get is “nothing ventured, nothing grained”. 
  10. The garage sale was no more than a fool’s bar-grain. 

Un-Baguette-Able Bread Puns

  1. He finished the race last but not yeast.
  2. I’m heading yeast for the holidays.
  3. Buy one, baguette one free.
  4. I honestly think I can baguette away with it.
  5. Will you please baguette out of my hair?
  6. Baguette cracking or we’ll be late.
  7. We had better rye-it it down -lest we baguette. 
  8. We’re going for a swim so best you not baguette your trunks and towel.
  9. I’m really trying to baguette into the habit of it.
  10. Ahh, baguette it – I knew you wouldn’t understand!

Bread Puns and Crumbs!

  1. Crumb to think of it…
  2. I really wish they would crumb to their senses.
  3. Crumb again? I didn’t hear you the first time.
  4. She’d make more friends if she would crumb out her shell.
  5. Crumb hell or high water, I’ll do it.
  6. Do you crumb here often?
  7. Oh, crumb on and hurry up!
  8. The time has crumb for him to rise to the focaccian.
  9. Don’t be sad, the best is yet to crumb.
  10. Crumb rain or shine, I’m going for a swim.

Let’s Toast To That

  1. They sent us the prettiest toastcard.
  2. Australia has a beautiful toastline. 
  3. He’s only into toast-modern art. 
  4. I think we’re going to have to toastpone our date.
  5. We saw a ghost and called Toastbusters. 

Bread Puns That Are Slightly Crusty

  1. This is crust not my day.
  2. It’s crust a matter of time before the batter spills over.
  3. My victory is crust around the corner. 
  4. It’s not strange behaviour – it’s their crustom!
  5. Crustice was served.
  6. You can crust me, I’m a physician! 
  7. He’s a crustworthy friend.
  8. There’s no knead to cook – crust add water.
  9. His actions were a real breach of crust.
  10. I don’t crust him one bit. 

These Bread Puns Aren’t Crumbly

  1. What did the loaf of bread say when he broke up with his girlfriend? You really deserve butter.
  2. How do you spot a radical baker? They’re forever going against the grain.
  3. Why was the loaf of bread so upset? His plans were always going a-rye. 
  4. Why did the slice of bread dump her boyfriend? He was way too kneady for her. 
  5. Why did the loaf of bread keep punching his doughy friend? He wanted to get a rise out of him.
  6. What made the bread actor so unhappy? She lost out on a juicy roll. 
  7. What do bread children say when playing hide-and-seek? Bready or not, here I crumb!
  8. Why was the slice of bread not at all fond of hot weather? He preferred it less toasty.
  9. How do you get a promotion at the bakery? By buttering up your boss.
  10. When is a bread pun at its crumbiest? When it’s left to get stale.

Crumbs Of Advice

  1. Be careful when complimenting a chef’s hot buns. They might take it the wrong way.
  2. It’s always a good idea to serve sourdough bread with a cutting barb.
  3. Don’t be a loafer – you’ll only end up baking a fool of yourself.
  4. Before sowing your wild oats, batch them up in some cookie sew instead.
  5. It’s never a good idea to roll your pies at your mother. 

Bread Puns That Will Never Get Stale

  1. Why was the baker in such a bad mood? He woke up on the wrong side of the bread.
  2. What did the loaf of bread say when she bumped into the slice of rye? Didn’t I see you here yeast-erday too?
  3. Why did the two bags of flour run away from the bakery? They wanted to grow mould together.
  4. Why is money sometimes called dough? Because we all knead it.
  5. What happens if a loaf of bread forgets her umbrella? She’ll get soaking wheat. 
  6. What do elves use for making sandwiches? Shortbread. 
  7. How do you greet German bread? Gluten tag!
  8. I wanted to tell you a story about some butter on a piece of bread – but I’m afraid you might spread it around. 
  9. Why was the baker in a panic? Because he was in a loaf or death situation. 
  10. What do you call a rabbit who fell asleep in the sun? A hot cross bun-ny. 
  11. What did the baker ask the traffic officer when he got pulled over for speeding? Rye the serious face?
  12. What’s the best birthday present to give to a baker? Flours.
  13. What do you call a loaf of bread in a cage at the local zoo? Bread in captivity.
  14. Why is bread just like the sun? It rises in the yeast.
  15. What do you call a baker who brings back the dough each month? The breadwinner. 
  16. What is a loaf of bread’s favourite time of the year? Yeaster.
  17. Why do bakers prefer to work all weekend? They probably knead the dough. 
  18. What’s a baker’s preferred sort of shoe? His trusty pair of loafers. 
  19. Why did the ageing slice of rye retire? He knew his career was toast.
  20. What’s a slice of bread’s favourite way to remember things? By making a Toast-It. 
  21. What do you call the highest class of rye there is? Upper crust.

We weren’t loafing around. We hope you enjoyed our bread puns, and will join us in a toast to better days!