101 Duck Puns That Will Quack You Up

Are you feeling a bit like a sitting duck? Or as if life’s troubles are taking the drake? Then be sure to take a waddle through our list of puns about ducks – they’ll have you quackling with laughter in no time at all. 

By The… Duckload

1. What time do mommy ducks wake up? At the quack of dawn.
2. What did grandpa duck ask for after the meal at the restaurant? He asked for the bill.
3. Who stole the soap? The robber ducky!
4. What was the duck detective’s number one goal? To quack the difficult case.
5. Why was the little duck pulled from the basketball game? Because he kept on making fowl shots!
6. What has fangs, a bill, and webbed feet? Count Duckula. 
7. What did the duckling get for Christmas? A box of quackers. 
8. What’s a duckling’s favorite drink? Peepsi.
9. What’s the little duck’s favorite game? Beak-a-boo!
10. What do you call a bird that can fix anything? Duck tape.
11. Where do rough and tough ducks come from? From hard-boiled eggs.
12. When is roast duck bad for your health? When you’re the duck!
13. What do ducks use to carry their school books in? They use quack-packs.
14. Why do ducks fly south for winter? Because it’s much too far to waddle. 
15. Why do ducks make bad drivers? Because their windscreens are always quacked.
16. What’s a duck’s favorite ballet? The Nutquacker!
17. What’s a duck’s favorite kind of television show? They enjoy duckumenteries. 
18. Why did the teacher chase the little duck from the class? Because he would quit quacking jokes. 
19. Where do ducks go when they’re feeling sick? To the duckter. 
20. What do you see when a plumber-duck bends over? A buttquack!

Say Duck?

1. His words were like water off a duck’s back.
2. Quick! Duck and take cover!
3. The thief was ducking and diving the policeman’s questions.
4. He had best get his ducks in a row!
5. He took to his new job like a duck to water.
6. You shouldn’t trust him – he’s a real duck horse!
7. I’m merely taking a shot in the duck.
8. He harboured a deep, duck secret. 
9. Go on, duck in!
10. The young chicken ordered a duckload of flowers for his bae. 

Duck Puns From The Web

1. He’s no doctor, he’s a real quack!
2. She thanked him for cooking such a duckadent meal.
3. Mallard, my lady.
4. The experience wasn’t all it was quacked up to be.
5. That hard-headed duck’s a real hard nut to quack!
6. The ducklings made quite the quackophony of noise as they frolicked in the water.
7. Better duck next time!
8. The dishonest duck was a nesty piece of work!
9. The duck had lost his job and was just trying to stay afloat.
10. The police let important information fall through the quacks. 

Duck Puns To Quack You Up

1. She’s a gorgeous duck. In fact, she’s breadtaking!
2. I’ll always be ready to pick up the bill. 
3. Life is the perfect paraducks!
4. Trust me, I’m a ducktor. 
5. I’m ready to quack the case.
6. You’re a firequacker!
7. Are you quackers?
8. You really quack me up!
9. I’m a decent chap, I never use fowl language.
10. Care to join me at the Quacker Barrel?

These Duck Puns Are No Lame Duck

1. Three men walk into a bar. You’d have thought the last one would have ducked!
2. What do French ducks say? Quoi quoi. 
3. Why wasn’t the duck afraid to cross the road? Because he wasn’t chicken.
4. What did the parrot say when he saw the duck? Polly want a quacker. 
5. What did the duck say to the banker? My bill is bigger than yours.
6. What’s another name for a clever duck? A wise-quack!
7. How do you get down off a horse? You don’t – you get down off a duck.
8. What’s a duck’s favorite television show? The daily feather forecast. 
9. What do ducks wear to formal-dress parties? A ducks-edo. 
10. What’s the difference between a whiny two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler and the other a tiny waddler. 
11. Why did the duck who worked as a cement mixer get fired from his job? His boss saw the quacks in the pavement. 
12. What did the duckling’s mom say when he dropped her plate? I hope it didn’t quack!
13. What does a duck use to change a flat tyre? A quacker jack. 
14. What did the doctor say about the duck who thought he was a squirrel? Now that was one tough nut to quack!
15. How can you tell when a duck is in love? They’re floating on air. 
16. Why did the duck refuse to marry her boyfriend? Because she said he’d turned into a nesty piece of work. 
17. Why did the little duck emerge successful? Because he wasn’t afraid to swim upstream. 
18. Why did the duck decide to close up shop? Because he’d noticed a steady duckline in sales.
19. Why did the duck sleep under the car? Because he had to wake up oily. 
20. Why did the duck and his girlfriend have so many misunderstandings? Because she only spoke Porchageese. 
21. How do ducks talk? They don’t, you quack!

Duck! Here Come More Puns

1. She’s such a good worker. Waddle we do without her?
2. The duck race went simply swimmingly!
3. Let’s quack open a bottle and celebrate!
4. That duck doesn’t really fit the bill of a criminal.
5. One should always do as the law ducktates. 
6. I found myself in a difficult preduckament with that guy Drake!
7. The police decided to hold on to the ducket. 
8. Those new rubber duckies flew off the shelves!
9. That duck knows exactly how to ruffle my feathers!
10. All rubber ducks know that cleanliness is nest to godliness!
11. You really done nest up this time round!
12. That duck’s always in the know because he’s a social nestworker!
13. The duck lost his entire fortune when the bottom fowl out of the market.
14. Your stories about ducks fill me with nestalgia!
15. I’m going for a nip and duck.
16. He’s such a cheat – he always deals from the bottom of the duck. 
17. His goods all fell from the back of a duck.
18. He’s an easy target and a sitting duck.
19. That ducks got a bad quackitude!
20. I’m working as quack as I can.

Famous Ducks

1. James Pond
2. Quack Sparrow
3. Duck Norris
4. Quack Efron 
5. Quacker Jack
6. Moby Duck
7. Quackie Chan
8. Duckleberry Finn
9. Sir Eggbert
10. Quack Black

We hope you enjoyed our duck puns a quack. It took us some time to get them all in a row!