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101 Pirate Puns That Are Off the Hook

Ahoy! Calling all fun moms and dads, grandparents, aunts, and uncles! We’ve sailed the seven seas in search of the best pirate puns on the planet. Our 101 pirate puns are sure to give you a b-arrr-el of laughs. 

Jolly Good Pirate Puns

  1. The ambitious young skipper was making his way up the cor-pirate ladder. 
  2. Spending too long at sea may lead to certain res-pirate-ory conditions. 
  3. She’s so annoying. She makes me feel p-irate!
  4. The test was as easy as pie-rate!
  5. He’s going to be made to eat humble pie-rate for his actions. 
  6. Pirates know to keep calm and c-arrry on!
  7. All bets arrr off!
  8. Two heads arrr nearly always better than one. 
  9. You’re trying to compare apples with arrr-anges!
  10. The pirate’s ship appeared out of thin arrr. 
  11. That old pirate has a wandering aye. 
  12. Every pirate knows, it’s an aye for an aye. 
  13. There’s always m-arrr than what meets the aye. 
  14. Absence makes the heart-y grow fonder. 
  15. Ahoy thar!
  16. Those pirates are all tough as old bootys. 
  17. The handsome young pirate surely gets enough booty sleep!
  18. I may not be thar in person, but I’ll certainly be thar in spirit. 
  19. Stop anchor-aging his bad behaviour!
  20. Those young pirates are making a loot of fuss over nothing. 

Aye Love These Puns!

  1. Why are pirates called pirates? They just arrr!
  2. What do most pirates wear when it gets cold out at sea? Long Johns. 
  3. What’s a silly pirate called? The pillage idiot. 
  4. How do pirates usually prefer to cook their steaks? On a barrrbeque. 
  5. What’s a pirate’s favourite type of music? Rum and Bass!
  6. What was the philosophical pirate’s favourite saying? I think, therefore I arrr. 
  7. Why were the pirates not able to enjoy a game of cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck. 
  8. Why are pirates considered lucky? Because they get all their music and movies for free.
  9. Why did the young pirate buy an eye patch? Because he didn’t have enough money for an iPad. 
  10. How did the pirate find out he needed spectacles? He took an aye exam. 

These Pirate Puns Are Pure Gold

  1. I got hit by a doubloon whammy!
  2. I’ve got a loot on my plate right now. 
  3. That’s no solootion to the problem I’m having. 
  4. I have quite a few new year’s resolootions. 
  5. Better loot than never. 
  6. It’s better to just loot nature take its course. 
  7. Go on, loot your hair down!
  8. That old pirate has many ske-loot-ons in his closet!
  9. I’m homeward bounty. 
  10. When playing poker with a pirate, it’s best to hold your cards close to your chest. 

But wait… there’s m-arrr!

  1. The storm at sea was an act of grog. 
  2. I’ll get it done by hook or by crook!
  3. The pirate split from his wife. She called him a square pegleg in a round hole. 
  4. I’m stepping ashore to stretch my peglegs. 
  5. He has no pegleg to stand on. 
  6. Jolly roger that!
  7. The pirate bit of more than he could crew. 
  8. The pirate said his last remaining sock was lost in the swashbuckle. 
  9. The pirate captain shore does run a tight ship. 
  10. There’s pirate gear to fit all ships and sizes!

Pirate Puns Shouldn’t Be Crew-d

  1. The pirate told his wife that he had something he wanted to get off his chest. 
  2. I’m hooked on stories about pirates!
  3. I fell for the pirate’s stories – hook, line, and sinker!
  4. It’s only fun and games until someone loses an aye. 
  5. The movie about the pirate lost at sea was so sad, there wasn’t a dry aye in the house. 
  6. I think I’m going to have to crew that over. 
  7. The stout little pirate desperately wanted to get back into ship. 
  8. I shore hope widespread piracy isn’t the ship of things to come!
  9. Some pirate puns give me the shivers. 
  10. My pirate boyfriend brigs out the best in me!

Puns For A B-arrr-el Of Laughs

  1. How do pirates communicate? Preferably aye to aye. 
  2. What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved. 
  3. How do pirate’s get enough exercise? They walk the plank. 
  4. How much did the pirate pay for his hook and peg? He says he paid an arm and a leg!
  5. What did the pirate dress up as at Halloween? As himself. He wore a pumpkin patch!
  6. There once lived a frugal pirate. What was his name? Barry D. Treasure. 
  7. Why was the pirate ship so cheap? Because it was on sail!
  8. What did the pirate say when his peg got stuck in the freezer? Shiver me timbers!
  9. What’s a pirate’s favourite movie? Booty and the Beast. 
  10. Why do pirates make terrible golf players? Because they keep hooking the ball. 
  11. What print do pirates have on their socks? Arrr-ghyle. 
  12. What do you call a pirate with both of his eyes and legs intact? A hook-ie!
  13. Where do pirates go for dinner? To Long John Silver’s. 
  14. Why did Captain Hook cross the road? He wanted to get to the second-hand store. 
  15. What’s a pirate’s hairstyle called? A crew cut. 
  16. How do pirates earn their keep on their captain’s ship? By hook or by crook!
  17. Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank? No need – they’ll wash up on shore later. 
  18. What happened to Bluebeard when he fell into the Red Sea? He got marooned! 
  19. Where can you find a pirate with no wooden legs? Exactly where you left him!
  20. How do you make a pirate mad? You take away the “p”. 

Punny Pirate Puns Are A Treasure

  1. Pirates never pay all that much for their piercings. Just a buck-an-ear!
  2. Pirating is highly addictive. Once you lose your first hand, you’ll be instantly hooked!
  3. To err is human, to arrr is pirate. 
  4. Pirates make fantastic singers because they’ve got no problem hitting the high Cs. 
  5. Pirates and sushi masters have a lot in common. Both are always looking fortuna!
  6. Pirates who don’t enjoy listening to arr ‘n b are usually into rum ‘n bass. 
  7. We all have the right to piracy. 
  8. He’s des-pirate to get the job on board the ship. 
  9. She pir-ate all my food!
  10. You are under arrr-rest!
  11. The pirate musician composed a beautiful arrr-angement. 
  12. I drew ins-pirate-on from the design of the great old ship. 
  13. The young pirate said he had many as-pirate-ons!
  14. Arrr you ready for some treasure-hunting action?
  15. The pirate said he was retiring. He wanted to learn how to fly hot arrr balloons instead. 
  16. I know you love me, but I love you marrr!
  17. I love you marrr and marrr each day, said the pirate to his sweetheart. 
  18. Surprise! You can open your ayes now!
  19. You look very pirate-y today. 
  20. Arrr isn’t my favourite letter at all, said the young pirate. Actually, it’s C!
  21. Arrrg, I can’t believe I’ll have to mend this sail again!

These puns about pirates are such a loot, we nearly keelhauled over with laughter. Be shore to share them with your mateys young and old!