101 Plant Puns You’ll Need to Read to Be-Leaf

We be-leaf in the flower of plants to save the plot. Our 101 puns about plants are sure to set your sprinklers firing and sage the day.

Plant Puns With Panache

1. Have you got ants in your plants?
2. Someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot keeps on thickening!
3. My leaf blower doesn’t work. It just sucks!
4. Now that’s an offer you plant refuse?
5. I plant wait to see her.
6. We were all dressed up but had nowhere to go.
7. Easy come, easy grow.
8. Just go with the grow!
9. That guy doesn’t grow beans.
10. That’s not the status grow. 
11. Oh blast! I’ve soiled myself.
12. I really feel sorry for wheelbarrows. They’re always getting pushed about. 
13. Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re freakin’ hill areas.
14. I started dating a girl named Rose from across the street. Lawn-distance relationships aren’t my thing.
15. Houseplants really are my best fronds. 

In The Mood For Plant Puns and Romance? 

1. Aloe you vera much!
2. You are berry cute.
3. I feel just peachy when I’m with you.
4. Plant one on me!
5. You and I were mint to be. 
6. Some of my best buds are plants.
7. I really be-leaf in you!
8. Orange you glad you met me?
9. I really hate it when bay-leaves!
10. You look absolutely radishing!
11. What a spud muffin you are!
12. My heart beets only for you. 
13. Wood you be mine?
14. Be my bam-boo?
15. I just love you from my head tomatoes!
16. If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple. 
17. Baby, fennel I see you again?
18. Oh my gourd, you’re so funny!
19. Chive never met anyone quite like you. 
20. With you by my side, thistle be the best day ever!

You’d Better Be-Leaf It

1. Oh, will you get clover it already?!
2. Please say it ain’t cilantro!
3. It’s thyme to party!
4. Oh, kale yeah!
5. Netflix and dill. 
6. Christmas is a thyme to eat, drink, and be rosemary.
7. Let the good thymes roll!
8. Oh, leaf me alone!
9. Please don’t kale my vibe. 
10. I really need some peas and quiet.

We Plant Get Enough Of Plant Puns

1. How much room do fungi need to grow? As mushroom as possible.
2. What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing, it only let out a little wine. 
3. Why did the lettuce look away? Because it saw the salad dressing.
4. Why are trees so good at doing business? Because they aren’t afraid to branch out.
5. When is the only time you’ll see a farmer dance? When he drops the beet. 
6. How do trees go online? They simply log in.
7. How are you doing, my little zucchini? I’ve vine, thank you for asking!
8. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he wasn’t peeling very well. 
9. What did the watermelon say to the cantaloupe? Oh baby, you’re one in a melon!
10. What did the tomato say when he robbed the bank? Everyone romaine calm!
11. Why did the tree get arrested? He was trunk as a lord.
12. What did the tree do to try and make peace with his girlfriend after a fight? He extended an olive branch.
13. Why did the little tree’s mom tell him to come back home? Because it was pitch bark outside. 
14. Why is family so important? Because bud is thicker than water. 
15. Why did the little tree win the prize for good behaviour? Because he was wood as gold all year long. 
16. What’s a plant’s favourite song? Sweet chive of mine by Guns ‘n Roses. 
17. What did the raisin keep on whining about? He kept going on and on about how he couldn’t achieve grapeness. 
18. Why did the young carrot get arrested at the Farmers Market? Because he got caught disturbing the peas. 
19. What do you call a farm haunted by chickens? A farm with a huge poultry-geist problem.
20. Did you hear about the little thistle that won the fancy-dress competition? He was outstanding in his field. 
21. Why did the flower accept her new job on such short notice? Because her new boss made her an offer she plant refuse.
22. Why did the little tree’s mom send him to the shops? Because the plantry was bare.
23. What did the detective order the plant who had turned state witness to do? To keep a low growfile. 
24. Why did the thistle struggle to make friends? Because he was a little smarty plants. 
25. Why did the young tree stand so proud and tall? Because he had his feet firmly planted on the ground. 
26. Why did the young flower send her sweetheart a selfie? Because a picture plants a thousand words.

Wisdom For This Day And Sage

1. One should always get to the shoot of the matter.
2. A heart to heart stalk is the best way to resolve any problem.
3. You should always give two shoots about everything.
4. Don’t root the messenger.
5. All good students burn the midnight soil.
6. It’s never a good idea to pour soil on troubled waters.
7. A watched pot never soils.
8. Give a fruit – don’t pollute!
9. There’s much to be said for cutting your mosses.
10. All you seed is love.

Never Take Plant Puns For Planted

1. I’m looking for a new place to live but don’t need mushroom. 
2. Herb your enthusiasm!
3. If you can’t beet ‘em, join ‘em!
4. That’s pretty darn fly for a cacti!
5. I’m so excited I wet my plants!
6. I really hope thistle cheer you up. 
7. It’s time to celery-brate!
8. Let’s squash this beef between us once and flor-al!
9. Please romaine calm – this is not a dill. 
10. Uno moss. 
11. Good chives only, please!
12. Please lettuce remain friends?
13. If a plant in the garden is sad, do the other plants photo-sympathise with it?
14. Sage against the machine.
15. I’ll be right bok!
16. Seed you later!
17. I really wish I could turn back thyme. 
18. Stop trying to make vetch happen!
19. I yam what I yam.
20. I don’t know what happened, but all hell oak loose!

Now that you’ve seed for yourself that our plant puns are one in a melon, perhaps you’d like to try and cultivate some of your hoe-n.