101 Rock Puns That’ll Leave You Rolling With Laughter

The Ultimate List of Rock Puns

Not only will our ultimate list of rock puns shake, rattle, and roll your world, but they’re sure to also have you rolling with laughter. They’re so funny, you’ll find it hard to keep a stone-cold expression.

Rock Star Puns

1. Why did the mountain not feel his usual starry self? Because he had hit rock bottom.
2. Why was the gemstone having a bad day? Because he was caught between a rock and a hard place. 
3. How does a boulder take his bourbon? On the rocks. 
4. How did the rock ask his girlfriend to marry him? He asked if he could etch her name alongside his stone. 
5. Why did the rock have a change of heart? Because he was done with being Mr. Gneiss Guy!
6. Why did the rock worry about losing his job? Because his boss had told him to be boulder during his presentations. 
7. Why did the rock’s sweetheart fall head-over-heels in love? Because he’s a rock-solid choice in a partner.
8. Why did the rock’s boyfriend dump her? Because she constantly took him for granite.
9. Why did the rock get arrested by the police? Because they’d built a solid case against him for downloading pyrited movies online. 
10. What did the rock do once he got out of jail? He decided to start with a clean slate. 

All Rock Puns Are Boulder-Dash!

1. It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson!
2. Seek and ye shale find. 
3. Never the twain shale meet, forsooth!
4. My dream is to be a geologist – ore nothing at all!
5. Be at the geology party ore be square.
6. I will become a geologist. I don’t care weather I have to beg, burrow ore steel. 
7. Life is all give ore take, hit ore miss.
8. I want to dig for rocks – day ore night!
9. Like it ore not, I love digging in the ground for new finds.
10. It was a rocky Halloween, all trick ore treat. 
11. All rocks were magma before they were cool.
12. There’s no fracking way I’m having my colon examined!
13. The boy volcano told the girl volcano, “I really lava you!”.
14. Geologists aren’t keen to talk about what they do because it’s such an explosive topic. 
15. The only time you’re ever allowed to throw a rock at a girl is when it’s a diamond.
16. Every geologist knows that the key to a happy marriage is accepting each other’s faults. 
17. Society needs everyone to work towards the crater good.
18. Most great projects are initially off to a rocky start.

Rock Puns About Geology

1. Why was the geologist thrown into jail? He was charged with aggregated assault. 
2. What did the geologist say he was most proud of? Been there, done that, got the T-chert. 
3. What did the geologist say to his upset friend? Oh, keep you chert on!
4. What’s the geologist’s favorite slogan? I liked carbon before it was coal.
5. All geologists are coal as cucumbers. 
6. Why did the geologist quit his job? His blood started to run coal for rocks. 
7. Why did the geologist get dumped by his girlfriend? She said he igneous her whenever she tries to talk to him. 
8. Why did the geologist have a headache? Because he was quarried sick.
9. The geologist spoke to everyone. He was a real pebble’s person.
10. Why did the geologist refuse to go out and into the rain? He was afraid of contracting a coald.
11. Why did the geologist land in trouble with his wife? Because she would have to tell him stuff agrain and agrain.
12. Why did the geologist land the job he’d been going after? Because his new boss knew he was a tuff act to follow.
13. Why didn’t the geologist’s marriage last? Because it slowly eroded away until it eventually hit bedrock.
14. Why did the geologist flee the scene? Because the quartz would have found him guilty.
15. Why did the geologist crash his car? Because he’d gone off-quartz. 

These Rock Puns Are Gems

1. There’s really no need to rub basalt in my wounds!
2. Please pass basalt. 
3. His cologne was a basalt on my senses. 
4. Mom, please stop worrying. It’s just a geology outing. I’m not going to diorite?
5. Chalk is cheap.
6. Geologists hate making small chalk for a reason.
7. The geologist never even flintched when the wind blew the sand in his eye.
8. Please phyllite with dynamite?
9. Be careful – albite!
10. The geologist was really quick to solve the corundum.
11. Geology is a solid job – I have everyone gravelling at my feet. 
12. By the time I’d regained my site, I was stone cold sober. 
13. You should always think only the best of pebble.
14. Please will you mica sandwich for me?
15. He’s a cornerstone and a rock in his community.

Puns That Hit Rock-Bottom

1. Why did the comedian joke mostly about rocks to the geologists? Jokes about anything else would have fluorite over their heads.
2. Why was the sedimentary rock marked down? Because it was on shale.
3. What do you call a rock that doesn’t like going to school? A skipping stone.
4. Why did the tectonic plates break up? There was just too much friction between them.
5. What’s the best thing to do with a dead geologist? You barium. 
6. What’s the best and the worst thing about reading a book about helium? It will rock your world, but you won’t be able to put it down. 
7. Why did the geology student drown? His grades were way below C-level. 
8. What do rocks enjoy eating? Pom-a-granites.
9. When were rock puns at their very best? During the stone age. 
10. What’s a fake Irish gem called? A sham rock. 
11. Is it really true that all rock stars get along? Probably – nobody wants to start a quarry.
12. Geologists don’t typically have many children. This is because most of their relationships are strictly plutonic. 
13. Why did the miner soon tire of his job? It was mostly just boring. 
14. Don’t claim you’re the best stone mason in town without any concrete proof. 
15. The entire mining village was upset about how the geologist had been killed in coaled blood. 
16. What’s a geologist’s favorite food? B-rock-olli of course!
17. I live a stone’s throw away from my geography teacher. 
18. What did the angry geologist get charged for? Basalt and battery. 

Rolling In The Deep With Rock Puns

1. Why should you never lend money to a geologist? They all consider thousands of years ago to be Recent. 
2. Why is it a bad idea to lend a geologist your car? Because they’re usually hammered and stoned. 
3. Why are geologists so good at stand-up comedy? Because they know how to rock all the dirty jokes. 
4. Why do geologists make good life partners? Because they take nothing for granite. 
5. What did Darth Vader say to the geologist? May the quartz be with you!
6. Why are geologists seldom hungry? Because they’ve lost their apatite. 
7. Why is the world of studying rocks so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people. 
8. What did the diamond say to the piece of copper? Nothing at all. Minerals don’t talc. 
9. What did gold say to pyrite? You’re flawed and a fake.
10. What’s a geologist’s favorite activity at the amusement park? The ferrous wheel. 
11. What’s a geologist’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones. 
12. What did the metamorphic rock complain about during the test? He said it was all too much pressure. 
13. What’s a geologists favorite type of music? Punk Rock.
14. What do geologists dance to? Rock ‘n Roll!
15. Why did the rock not marry his best friend? Because they had a plutonic relationship. 
16. Why did the rock give up his studies? Because he felt jaded with it all. 
17. Why was the rock willing to take on any challenge? Because he was one tuff cookie.

Rock Puns With a Soft Touch

1. You rock!
2. I love how you’ve got so many layers to your personality – just like sedimentary rock.
3. You look gorge-ous.
4. You make me feel boulder, like I can do anything! 
5. Your friendship is rock steady.
6. I’ll never let you hit rock bottom.
7. Of quartz you’re doing great! 
8. Gneiss job!

We’ve got the best rock puns in town. As you can see, our list is concrete!