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101 Totally Off-Beet Vegetable Puns

Do your kids need a little encouragement eating their veggies? Then how about making mealtimes fun with our vegetable puns? We’ve gathered all the best vegetable puns to make your kids giggle. Some are hearty, others are corny, but they’re certainly all very good (for you)!

Underground Vegetable Puns

  1. Better slow down. There’s a turnip ahead!
  2. Time to turnip the beat.
  3. Oh, don’t be such a dead beet.
  4. You look absolutely radish-ing.
  5. Ah man, you’re so rad-dish. 
  6. He sure can ra-dish it out but he definitely can’t take it. 
  7. I honestly don’t carrot all. 
  8. Keep calm and carrot on!
  9. He’s a real spud muffin. 
  10. Carrot on, my wayward son!
  11. You deserve to get a beeting for that!
  12. He’s not completely crazy, just a little off-beet. 
  13. What a root awakening!
  14. He’s very root and has no manners at all. 
  15. I’ll be rooting for you all the way!

Unbe-Leaf-Ably Good Puns 

  1. Oh, kale yeah!
  2. My wish is for world peas. 
  3. I often go for a walk in the garden when in need of some peas and quiet. 
  4. Lettuce be thankful for all these beautiful veggies in the garden. 
  5. I need a picture of the garden for my Insta-yam. 
  6. Come over here and egg-plant a kiss on me!
  7. I adore you from my head tomatoes. 
  8. I think, therefore I yam. 
  9. Broc-coli moly! Look at that huge cabbage!
  10. I’m looking for a new place to stay. I don’t need mushroom. 

Corny Vegetable Puns

  1. He went above and beyond the kale of duty. 
  2. Those veggies are salad gold!
  3. Every vegetable garden needs a salad foundation. 
  4. The dam sprung a leek and flooded my vegetable garden!
  5. These veggies are so good, you’ll leek your lips.
  6. I’m afraid I’m a bit of a country pumpkin. 
  7. Herb your enthusiasm!
  8. The carrot failed his driving test because he drove up onto the herb. 
  9. Oat’s about time!
  10. The green grocer has a lot of emotional cabbage. 
  11. I’m telling you, it ain’t over lentil it’s over!
  12. All personal items should be placed in the overhead cabbage compartment. 
  13. Bean there, done that. 
  14. I’m afraid the die has bean cast. 
  15. You’re vegetable garden is impressive. It’s bean-ormous!
  16. I don’t get what the big dill is. 
  17. I’m afraid we’re in a bit of a pickle. 
  18. We’ll all have to pull our wheat to get the job done. 
  19. Wheat-ever!
  20. Wheat you up to? 

These Vegetable Puns Are Chic 

  1. I could really do with some inner peas. 
  2. May his soul rest in peas. 
  3. He’s determined to have his peas of the pie. 
  4. She’s a real peas of work!
  5. You need to get over here and say your peas. 
  6. I need my earpeas to listen to music. 
  7. He’s a keeper of the peas. 
  8. The old clock is a magnificent timepeas. 
  9. Her vegetable garden is a masterpeas!
  10. Gardening is my favourite peastime. 

Puns That Grow With The Flow

  1. He lived a full life and one against the grain. 
  2. Growing my own vegetables was ingrained in me from a very young age. 
  3. Growing your own food is an a-maize-ing experience!
  4. I get to pick fresh vegetables time and time a-grain. 
  5. These yams are as right as grain. 
  6. The garden is happy because it’s been graining cats and dogs. 
  7. Growing vegetables is a real no-grainer. 
  8. No pain, no grain!
  9. Nothing ventured, nothing grained. 
  10. These tomatoes are flourishing agrainst all odds. 
  11. Olive silly vegetable puns!
  12. All in good thyme. 
  13. My vegetables are all in mint condition. 
  14. I can’t water the garden right now. I’m only half-cloved. 
  15. Clove is in the air! I can smell it. 
  16. Our vegetable garden needs to squash the competition. 
  17. This is it! It’s the fennel countdown. 
  18. You’ll get to have the fennel say. 
  19. Soy you think you can dance?
  20. Never soy never!

Fungus-Tic Puns

  1. I thought of buying my girlfriend vegetables for Valentine’s Day. Now she thinks I’m corny!
  2. I turned down the job at the grocer. The celery was unacceptable. 
  3. What’s the fastest vegetable in the patch? The runner bean!
  4. What’s another term for a vegetable heist? A farmed robbery. 
  5. What’s the only vegetable Noah refused to take on the ark? The leek!
  6. Why did the carrot look so embarrassed? Because it saw the chickpea!
  7. What did one snowman say to the other? It all just smells like carrots to me. 
  8. What did the carrot say to the gardener at the vegetable garden competition? I’ll be rooting for you!
  9. Why are potatoes always fighting? Because they can’t see eye to eye. 
  10. What’s another phrase for a stolen spud? A hot potato. 
  11. What’s a baby potato called? A small fry. 
  12. What’s the best day of the week for harvesting spuds? Fry-day!
  13. Why did the cucumber get angry? Because it was in a pickle. 
  14. What is a canoeist’s favourite kind of lettuce? Row-maine. 
  15. Why couldn’t the lettuce chill? Because it wasn’t nearly as cool as the cucumber. 
  16. How did the gardener mend his trousers? With a vegetable patch. 
  17. Why is everyone in love with the vegetable band? Because they play such a good beet. 
  18. Why did the corn stalk get so angry with the farmer? He kept teasing her and pulling her ears. 
  19. What do you get when you start a fight between two peas? Black-eyed peas!
  20. What did the organic veggies die of? Natural causes. 
  21. What was the cause of the privacy breach? An information leek!

Good Job On These Veggie Puns

  1. What’s a librarian’s favourite type of vegetable? Quiet peas. 
  2. What’s a personal trainer’s favourite vegetable? Spin-ach!
  3. What’s a dress maker’s favourite veggie? String beans. 
  4. What is a taxi driver’s favourite type of vegetable? Cab-bage!
  5. What’s a plumber’s favourite vegetable? Leeks. 

Remember: tell your kids to romaine calm and eat their vegetables. They gotta grow!