101 Water Puns That’ll Go Down Swimmingly

Our 100+ water puns will have you drowning in laughter in no tide at all. Watch out! They come in waves…

The Best Dam Water Puns 

1. What did the brave little bottle of water tell the spy? The name’s Bond, Hydrogen Bond!
2. Why won’t you ever catch water chuckling at a joke? It isn’t a fan of dry humor. 
3. What’s the easiest way to make holy water? By boiling the hell out of it!
4. Why are oceans so meticulous? They prefer being pacific. 
5. Why did the bottle of water leave the party early? He was getting really tide. 
6. Why did the ocean ask the river on a date? Because she had such a bubbly personality. 
7. Why is the little ocean always on time for school? Because she enjoys staying current. 
8. What did the bottle of water say after it slipped and fell? Oh, dam it!
9. What do you call a teddy bear dunked in water? A drizzly bear!
10. What did the sink say to the faucet? You’re such a drip!
11. What do you call perilous amounts of precipitation? A real rain of terror.  
12. What’s worse than when it’s raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis!
13. What do you call it when it’s raining ducks and geese? Fowl weather.
14. How did the raindrop ask his sweetheart on a date? He asked, “Water you doin’ tonight?”
15. Science joke alert! What’s the ocean’s favorite sleepy time lullaby? RO, RO, RO Your Boat Gently Down The Stream. 

All Hail The Mighty Water Pun

1. Old rivers can often be seen struggling to remember things. It’s because they eventually become sea-nile. 
2. There are two reasons you should never, ever drink toilet water. Number one and number two. 
3. My friend struggled to keep paying his water bill every month. I decided to send him a “Get Well Soon” card. 
4. Rivers are amazing roommates. They just go with the flow. 
5. Poets often write about water and the sea. They simply cannot fathom their depths. 
6. Bottled water isn’t actually all that smart. It got bottled, after all!
7. “Rest in Peace” to boiled water. It will be sorely mist!
8. So, you haven’t yet heard the joke about water? Well, well, well!

Wave Hello To Our Little Water Puns

1. Watery doing today, my friends?
2. I know exactly water problem is!
3. I’m a free spirit. I do waterever I want. 
4. Dew wanna grab a coffee sometime?
5. That comment about bottled water was very shallow. 
6. We don’t currently have any other option but to sea the plan through. 
7. I want to buy a bottle of water. I think I’ll just wet around here for the water cart. 
8. Congratulations, it’s a buoy!
9. He wasn’t joking. He was being completely sea-rious!
10. I shouldn’t have left the seafood paella swimmering all night long. 
11. He suffers of a serious lack of well-power and self-esteam. 
12. When out on the open water, things aren’t always as they steam. 
13. The best way to remain calm in a flood is to inhail deeply, then exhail slowly. 
14. The way to happiness is to pond-er the deeper meaning of life. 
15. To keep things neat, the mommy estuary has to tell her children to tide-y up.

Water You Know? Water Puns Galore

1. How do you get a pen across a large body of water? Biro-ing. 
2. What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, she simply waved. 
3. What runs, but never walks? Water!
4. What would you get if you were to throw an entire library into the ocean? A title wave. 
5. When does it rain currency? When there’s “change” in the weather. 
6. What did the impatient pot of water say to the noodles? Udon yet?!
7. What’s a meteorologist’s favorite watering hole? The nearest ISOBAR. 
8. Why do rivers hardly ever get lost? Because they always find the right pathwaves. 
9. Why won’t you find a school of humans in the ocean? Because it’s too difficult to wade through all the daily homework. 
10. What did the plumber say when asked whether he could swim underwater? “Don’t hold your breath!”

These Shore Are Great Water Puns!

1. I wanted to save my money. Then I decided to splash out on a waterbed instead. 
2. Ever notice how whenever you take a drink of water from a bottle it keeps pouring back? Chances are it’s spring water. 
3. Two’s company, three’s a cloud!
4. Sturgeons are great at carrying out underwater operations. 
5. A waterbed is a dangerous thing. It may lead a couple to drift apart. 
6. That shore is a long comment!
7. Water-skiing isn’t always fun. It can be a real drag. 
8. The installer of the lavatory was plumb loco. 
9. Diving in shallow water will only lead to jumping to the wrong conclusion.
10. The healthiest water of all is well water. 
11. Archimedes’ approach to water pumps was really screwed. 
12. Is this the real life? Or is this just fanta-sea? 
13. Upsetting a cannibal will probably land you in hot water. 
14. The completion of a water slide construction will always require a dry run. 
15. Bottled water for cheap is called a liquidation sale. 

These Water Puns Will Tide You Over

1. What did the ocean say to the river? You can run, but you can’t tide!
2. What happens when you spill water on a table? It becomes a pool table. 
3. What’s the one force that keeps a dock floating above water? Pier pressure. 
4. How do you make a waterbed bouncy? By filling it with spring water. 
5. What did the beach say to the ocean? Long tide no sea!
6. What goes up whenever water comes pouring down? An umbrella. 
7. Did you hear the joke about the waterfall? Never mind, it was really pour!
8. Why should you never open your electricity and water bills at the same time? Chances are you’ll be shocked!
9. Did you hear about the IT guy who drowned in the river? He was trying to stream a viral video. 
10. Did you hear about the dehydrated speaker? He just couldn’t keep the conversation flowing. 

We Splashed Out On These Water Puns

1. His jokes about water really made quite the splash!
2. Those old jokes about water are a real splash in the pan. 
3. The old river lost his entire fortune in the Wall Street Splash of 1929. 
4. We really wanted to see the waterfalls, but we mist. 
5. This waterfall is no hidden gem – it’s mainstream!
6. The little waterfall was just gushing with joy when he saw his sweetheart. 
7. Always go big. Never water down your expectations. 
8. Best way down a waterfall is to just take the plunge. 
9. He was led away like a lamb to the water. 
10. Those guys are all part of the New World Water. 

Sea What We Did Here?

1. Water you docking aboat? 
2. I can’t understand why I’m so tide-erd. 
3. I swear I’m not making these water puns on porpoise!
4. I just got hit by frozen rain. It hurt like hail. 
5. Learning how to kayak is really easy. You just go with the flow. 
6. A canoe turned upside down can be worn on your head. Because it’s capsized. 
7. I was going to tell you a joke about the sea. But it was dead in the water. 
8. I want to tell jokes about water, but I’m afraid people will sea right through me. 
9. Old white-water rafters never die. They just get disgorged. 
10. The only reason most fish live in salt water is because pepper makes them sneeze. 
11. The best cure for water on the brain is a tap on the head!
12. Since my body is 70% water, I’m not fat, I’m waterlogged. 
13. If the formula for water is H2O, does that mean the formula for an ice cube is H2O squared?
14. Did you hear about the first underwater spy? He was called James Pond. 
15. There are actually oceans without any real water. They’re found on maps!
16. There are people who wash their hair using only shampoo. They must love water unconditionally!
17. My friend and I decided to share our water supply. We got a long well. 

Now that you’ve waded through our best water puns, you must have sea-n the beauty in just going with the flow. It’s impossible to grow tide of great puns about this life-giving substance.