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Puns

101 Wood Puns To Make You Bark With Laughter

Wood you believe it? We’ve got a list of unbe-leaf-ably funny wood puns. It’s plane and simple, we’ve barked up all the right trees so that you and your family can have a good chuck-le. 

Wood Puns You’ll Get On Board With 

  1. What’s a rebellious beaver’s favorite kind of wood? The knotty pine. 
  2. Why do trees hate riddles? Because it’s too easy to get stumped!
  3. What sound do dogs make when they catch a stick? Bark bark.
  4. How do you identify a dogwood tree? By its bark!
  5. Why would you go to the bank with a bag full of wood pieces? To get a shavings account.
  6. Where do boats that carry wood go to? The arbor.
  7. Why did the tree get stumped? It couldn’t get to the root of the problem!
  8. What do you call a man looking for his wife in the woods? A dear hunter.
  9. Why has there never been a wooden car? It woodn’t go anywhere.
  10. What did the tree do when the bank closed? It started its own branch.
  11. What type of wood do pigs like the most? Ma-hog-any.
  12. What’s a tree’s favorite drink? Root beer!
  13. How do trees get into their facebook accounts? They just log in.
  14. What does a stick say when it falls down? “Wood you help me up, please?”
  15. Why do Christmas trees have trouble sewing? They can’t stop dropping their needles
  16. What kind of tree can you carry in your hand? A palm tree!
  17. What’s a lumberjack’s favorite equipment in the playground? A see-saw.
  18. Which Canadian city is a tree’s favorite? Mon-tree-al!
  19. What’s a woodpecker’s favorite kind of jokes? Knock knock ones!
  20. Why do trees hate math? Because it gives them square roots.

Poplar Wood Puns 

  1. I love going fo-rest in my cabin in the woods.
  2. That pun was oak-ay…
  3. I’m unsure how long I’ve been chopping wood for. I need to check the logs.
  4. I need to learn more about wood. Can I axe you a question about it?
  5. I wood like to tell you a tree pun, but I’d rather branch off to other jokes and leaf it be.
  6. I got lost in the forest so I’m not out of the woods just yet.
  7. Got my kids a wooden horse for Christmas. Bought it from Troys R Us.
  8. The plywood is lying around with nothing to do. It must be board!
  9. The wooden plank had to sit in the corner because he was a knotty pine.
  10. The palm trees in Hollywood all have illus-tree-ous acting careers.
  11. A domed house made out of sticks is called a twigloo.
  12. Went to the lumberyard to get good prices, but they wood knot even cut me a deal.
  13. The tree artist paints such chlorophyll pictures.
  14. I have a pet tree. It’s a lot like having a dog, but the bark is quieter.
  15. She’s so mysterious, her behaviour is in-tree-guing!

Axe Yourself a Question 

  1. What crime can a tree commit? Treeson.
  2. What was wrong with the tree’s car? It wooden go!
  3. Why was the weeping willow so sad? It watched a sappy movie.
  4. What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
  5. What did the tree say to her brother? Wood you please leaf me alone.
  6. What did the tree wear to the pool party? Swimming trunks!
  7. What do you call a scared piece of wood? Petrified!
  8. Would you ever try the acorn diet? No way! It sounds nuts!
  9. How do you know when a tree doesn’t know the answer to something? It shrubs.
  10. Why was the tree stumped? It couldn’t get to the root of the problem.
  11. Where do saplings go to learn? Elemen-tree school.
  12. How did the tree get lost? It took the wrong root.
  13. What’s a tree’s least favorite month? Sep-timber!
  14. What is a tree’s favorite school subject? Geome-tree.
  15. What do you call someone who walks through the forest on foot? A pedes-tree-an.

Sweet and Sappy Puns

  1. I wood never leaf you
  2. Wood you be my friend? 
  3. Not to be sappy, but you’re tree-mendous!
  4. Yew are special.
  5. You look lovely all spruced up.

Wood Puns That’ll Make You Chipper

  1. The lumberjack began crying after losing the competition. Guess he’s just a saw loser.
  2. I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it. It’s true, I saw it with my own eyes!
  3. There are many tree puns, but acorny one is the funniest.
  4. Both countries signed the environmental treety.
  5. My doctor likes to use remedies from the forest as part of my tree-tment.
  6. I tried coming up with a carpentry pun that woodwork. I’m sure I nailed it, but no one saw me.
  7. Why is the logging business risky? You have to go out on a limb!
  8. Trees make the best networkers. They’re always branching out
  9. Sometimes the police simply cannot solve a case. You wood say they’re stumped.
  10. What radio stations do trees love? Any that play poplar songs.
  11. Why do trees nap? For rest.
  12. What do you buy a tree that loves jewelry? More rings.
  13. In China, they don’t cut down trees. They just chopsticks…
  14. If trees could talk, they wood.
  15. Sorry if my puns are a bit mains-tree-m…but at least they’re family friendly!

More Puns Forrest To Enjoy

  1. What do you call an oak tree that can’t make its mind up? Undeciduous 
  2. Why was the oak tree excited to go to school? He could take chemis-tree. 
  3. What does a palm tree say when meeting new people? Let’s be fronds
  4. What’s a pine tree’s favorite singer? Spruce Springsteen. 
  5. Why did the Elm tree feel left out? It never got in on the oak. 
  6. Why couldn’t the fir tree get back in shape? It couldn’t stick to a root-ine. 
  7. Why do trees hate riddles? Because it’s too easy to get stumped! 
  8. What happens when you cross a pig and pine tree? You get a porcu-pine!
  9. What kind of chickens live in forests? Poul-tree!
  10. How does a tree offer encouragement? It roots for you!

Wood Puns To Make You Go Conkers

  1. Leaf the wood stove alone, you’ll get burnt!
  2. Oak-y dokey!
  3. Let’s branch out.
  4. We came, we saw, we conkered.
  5. I need to conifer with my team to give you an answer.
  6. I’m going out on a limb.
  7. This conversation has been trunk-ated.
  8. I’m stumped by all your questions.
  9. Wood puns? Can’t think of any. I’m stumped…
  10. A tree’s favorite place to visit in the US is Caleafornia.

Celebrity Wood Puns

  1. Woody Allen 
  2. Clint Oakwood 
  3. Spruce Willis
  4. Matthew Mahogany
  5. Benedict Lumberthatch
  6. Justin Timber-lake.
  7. Spruce Sprigsteen.
  8. Queen LaTreefa

Bonus Wood Pun Jokes

  1. A tree’s wood is made up of 50% carbon, 42% oxygen, 6% hydrogen, 1% nitrogen. You can call it a chemis-tree.
  2. What do you call a supercar made of wood? Lumberghini.
  3. I cut my foot whilst chopping wood. It was an axeident waiting to happen

I’d write another wood pun, but I’m afraid after 101, I’m stumped! We hope you thought these were tree-mendous!